上篇我说了商业Email的大条框架,这篇说说email 主体部分的遣词造句注意事项。
1,不用缩写。例,不用it’s 而用It is。不用haven’t 用 have not。不用ASAP,用 as soon as possible, or soonest
2,忌用口语用词, 使用书面用语。例如,kinda , wanna , gonna 这种网络聊天词语或口语是绝对NO NO NO。不用 I want to, 而用 I would like to。不用 We know you have been…..用 we understand you have been… 不用sorry 用apologise。不用thank you, 用 appreciate . 不用give, 用 provide 。又例,不用need/want your opinion 用seek your advice 。不用think about, 用consider.
3,少用不用第一人称开句。忌频繁使用”I “, 特别在段落开始。使用第三人称。 例如上篇提到的例句,it will be highly appreciated if you could let us know as soon as possible. 而不是 I would appreciate…. 这样写虽然也没有错,但不够高级不够专业。有时,在一定要提到 “I” or “we”的句子前加一句引子可以减弱强调的 I or we. 例如,As you have been aware, we have…. ,As requested, I have …. 英文里频繁出现I, we 被认为是对对方的不尊重。当然这部分没有黑白,可以使用I, we , 只是不要频繁,特别是在句首,段首。
4,在敏感性强的话题处使用被动式 和第三人称可以化解强硬,显得公事公办,就事论事,尊重客气。例, it is understandable that …, we were advised that….而不是they told us, they advised us…., it will be appreciated… , it is obvious that…., please be advised that….而不是I advise you…, 又如please be aware that…., it is stated that …., it is noted that …而不是 I have noted…同样,用it is noticed that…而不用I noticed that..
例子太多,只能凭个人领会和增加相关阅读,如果感兴趣的人多,我可以经常发些真实案例讲解。
按照上篇我讲的4个重点,和这篇的几个要点,我们具体分析下面真实的Email实例,看看他们是怎么写的。这篇是一名律师写给客户的简短Email,征求客户意见是否需要修改协议合约事宜。所以用词相对比较随意。商业内容不懂可以忽略,只注意他写作的方式,用语,口气等。
Dear James,(与客户认识,合作过所以直乎其名)
You would recall we prompted (prompt 是一个很商业的书面用语)you to consider varying your management agreements this time last year. If you wanted to consider that this year, we attach our proposal to act for you.(第一段就直接单刀直入主题)
Motions have to be in by the last day of April to be guaranteed to be included on the agenda for the annual meeting.
Again, if you do not want (注意这里,用do not, 而不是don’t)to seek (用want to seek, 而不是只用want,更书面用语)to vary your agreements, please let us know and we can push the reminder forward to this time next year.
Otherwise, please let us know if we can assist.(最后一句是例行套话,可以效仿,参见我上一篇的例句,也用了类似的说法)
Kind regards, (参看我上篇提到的落款方式)
John Diprose (使用全名)
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